butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I accidentally burped into my bong.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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