she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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