You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
