We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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