nut hugger
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
