real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
