I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
