Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
