i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
