You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
