xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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