Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
