There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
