Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize