I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
