Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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