Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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