last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
