i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
