There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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