I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
