I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
