I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
