i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
