we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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