Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
