Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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