So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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