haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
