We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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