I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
