If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
