So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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