were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
