Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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