i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
