Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
