Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
