I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
