I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
