just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
