He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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