we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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