I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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