Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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