We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
