i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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