oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Fuck appropriateness.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
