i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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