Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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