you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
